Those living in San Antonio know that a divorce is one of the most difficult hardships that any family can go through. It is a process that can tear children away from parents and friends away from friends. When details come to light that make what should be a private struggle a very public spectacle, the stress and tenseness associated with an already complex divorce experience is greatly amplified.
One such divorce involves a woman who happens to be the supervisor of the Alamo. When explicit photos of her surfaced and became a significant factor in her divorce, her and her family also had to worry about the surrounding community's opinion of their intimate affairs. Her husband even claims that it may have even been her intent on getting the media involved.
]]>Alamo officials have asserted that, while the divorce is unfortunate for the woman, it has no bearing on her employment status with the Alamo itself. The point was made that, despite the regrettable circumstances surrounding the administrator's public image as a result of the controversy, the divorce was not something that made an impact on her role within the workplace. Other individuals working at the Alamo claim she still managed to do her job well while dealing with the situation.
Divorce is never an easy thing to go through. Had the pictures of the San Antonio woman not been exposed, this divorce could likely have been much less taxing on the family involved. In addition, taking the time to learn more about the laws and proceedings involved with getting a divorce beforehand may have made this situation much less complicated.
Source: mysanantonio.com, "Divorce case reveals sexting by Alamo's overseer," Scott Huddleston, June 5, 2013
]]>For example, last year, a law went into effect in Massachusetts that established formulas to determine an ex-spouse's alimony responsibilities based upon the length of the marriage. The goal is to avoid situations that require a person to continue to pay alimony despite a change in circumstances, either his own or his ex-spouse's. Some other states are beginning to consider passing similar laws.
]]> Decades ago, many women were stay-at-home moms with few employment prospects after a divorce. The alimony system developed to provide them with the income they needed when they were on their own. Today, however, most couples are made up of individuals who each have their own careers. Even in cases where there is a disparity in income, it is no longer true that one person will automatically need financial assistance for the rest of his or her life.Critics of these sorts of alimony reform proposals point out, however, that these efforts end up hurting those who have sacrificed advancing in their own careers in order to make things easier for their spouses. Though a person may have better post-divorce prospects for employment currently, his or her spouse may have been able to accrue substantial assets in investments. Rather than establishing hard guidelines, critics suggest that alimony decisions ought to be left to the discretion of a judge.
]]>The future Hall of Famer is in the middle of a divorce from his wife of a dozen years, according to media reports.
]]> According to reports out of the San Antonio Express News, Duncan contracted a private investigator a year ago to begin surveillance of his wife, apparently suspecting that something was amiss.Two months ago, she filed for divorce. And about three weeks ago, she moved out of their house.
The basketball great has also been active, asking a Bexar County court to delay divorce proceedings until the Spurs either win the title or get eliminated by the Miami Heat or Indiana Pacers.
Duncan noted that his job "is currently making extraordinary demands on him and hopefully will continue to make those demands for the next 30 or so days."
The best possible outcome, it might seem, would be for the Spurs to sweep the finals so that Duncan and his estranged wife can get about the serious business of ending their marriage.
His wife, Amy, said in court documents that the union of the two is "insupportable because of discord and conflict."
Her husband has indicated in court documents that the pair signed a prenuptial agreement that he would like to see enforced. The long-time star has been making top-dollar for many years.
He and his wife got married four years after Duncan was the number one overall pick in the 1997 draft. He has signed several contracts in the interim that have paid him tens of millions of dollars, including the most recent three-year, $36 million deal inked last year.
In the report we read, there was no mention of a child custody dispute between the parents of two children.
Source: Enstarz.com, "Tim Duncan Divorce Story: Spurs Confirm Split Proceedings, Report Says Duncan Investigated Wife," May 25, 2013
]]>An attorney writing for the Huffington Post recently described a situation a client encountered after getting a divorce and sharing custody of her 10-year-old son.
]]> The family law attorney noted that her client had been divorced for two years, and that the couple had a divorce settlement which stated that the woman's former husband was to pay 60 percent of summer camp expenses.Here's where the problem came in to the picture: the ex-husband wants to send the boy to an expensive, out-of-state camp. The ex-wife says the boy is too young to go far away and prefers that he stay nearby at a day camp, which will also be significantly less costly.
The son is eager to go to the out-of-state camp.
The attorney told the woman that there's an underlying conflict that she needs to understand before she can resolve the dispute with her ex.
The attorney suggests the woman speak with a family law mediator, divorce coach or parenting coordinator who can help steer the discussion in a postive direction. That doesn't mean the woman will get what she wants, but it does mean there is likely a workable compromise available that both parents will be able to agree on.
The attorney urged the woman to identify her interests, listing all her reasons for wanting the son at the nearby camp, and then do the same for her ex-husband's reasons for wanting the boy to attend the other camp.
Then take the former husband's list of interests and figure out three possible alternatives to his plan (alternatives that meet his objectives) and that she would be willing to agree to.
A suggested alternative: having the boy attend an overnight camp that is closer to home. In that way, one of the dad's objectives is met (helping the boy mature away from home) while also achieving one of the mom's objectives (keeping her son nearby).
After coming up with viable alternatives, the attorney urged the woman to present them to the ex. Ideally, he would also thought of compromises, but since life is often less than ideal, she might well need to look for opportunities to resolve the dispute using alternatives that meet his objectives (and her own).
The attorney recommends the process as a way of avoiding litigation and headaches.
Source: Huffington Post Blog, "Mediating Your Summer Camp Squabbles," Diane L. Danois, J.D., May 13, 2013
]]>Gender roles have evolved over those years, and that evolution has forced substantial change in a number of areas, including divorce, child custody disputes and spousal maintenance.
]]> It wasn't that long ago that when parents divorced, people assumed the mother would get custody of the kids. Today, fathers and mothers both have reasons to expect to share custody of their children, although in some cases the father will prevail and in others, the mother will be granted custody by a court.Time magazine recently looked at what it calls "the de-gendering of divorce," noting that no longer should husbands expect to pay alimony (spousal maintenance) or wives expect to receive it.
There are some sound economic reasons for the change in alimony: nearly 40 percent of wives now have greater incomes than their husbands. So if their marriages end, that 40 percent should speak with a family law attorney about the possibility that they might be asked or ordered to pay spousal support.
At one point in the past, the assumption that women would receive alimony made sense. After all, most couples then divided the labor of raising a family, with the husband off to work to earn an income and the wife at home with the children.
But today, many households have more than one spouse earning income. The division of labor inside the home is also often much more blurred than it was in the past.
An experienced attorney can help make Texas divorce law as it exists today much clearer, however.
Source: Time, "The De-Gendering of Divorce: Wives Pay Ex-Husbands Alimony Too," Liza Mundy, April 16, 2013
]]>The University of Michigan study tracked nearly 5,000 American adults for a decade to find out how the level of support they receive from their spouses affected their mental health.
]]> Participants were interviewed by the research team in the 1990s and then surveyed again a decade later. Questions posed by researchers included the following:Researchers found that the quality of an individual's relationship with their husband or wife can predict the likelihood of a bout with serious depression.
People in strained relationships with unsupportive spouses were dramatically more likely to develop depression, while those who were single were at no increased risk.
“Our study shows that the quality of social relationships is a significant risk factor for major depression,” the psychiatrist who is lead author of the study said. “This is the first time that a study has identified this link in the general population.”
About one in six Americans experiences serious depression at some point in life; a condition that increases risks of stroke, coronary artery disease and cancer.
The psychiatrist said doctors should now begin to ask patients about the quality of their relationship with their spouse, rather than merely asking if they have a spouse.
Source: Huffington Post, "Relationship Study Finds Link Between Depression And Unsupportive Spouses," May 2, 2013
]]>The 38-year-old flight instructor maintained two homes and two marriages for two and a half years about 275 miles north of San Antonio. His first wife was recently granted a divorce, however.
]]> News media reports indicate the man lived weekdays in Arlington with the woman he first married, with whom he has a young son.On weekends, he would go to a flight school instructor's job and spend his time with his second wife, who lived in Grapevine (about 20 miles away). The second wife's job apparently has her traveling on weekdays.
To try to keep the relationships and women separate, he reportedly posted fake divorce documents online and filed his first wife's income taxes for her; without her knowledge, he listed her as single on the tax forms.
Eventually the scheme unraveled, however, as these things tend to do. Wife Number Two apparently discovered that her husband was paying the bills for Wife Number One; a woman he had supposedly divorced.
The man's attorney said his client doesn't deny the deception. "He's apologized to everyone," the attorney said, "and not just because he got caught. He knew it was going to come to an end."
Fortunately for the man, the statute of limitations on bigamy has expired.
But as noted, his first wife is now his ex-wife. She divorced him on grounds of adultery and cruel treatment, according to media reports.
His first wife was also granted custody of their child, as well as child support.
Source: New York Daily News, "Texas man arrested for bigamy, had 2 wives 20 miles apart," April 9, 2013
We recently ran across an article by psychologist Allison Pescosolido, who wrote about common divorce mistakes and how to avoid them.
]]> Pescosolido writes that one of those too-frequent mistakes is that couples will often try to maintain their friendship after their divorce. Not a good idea, she writes.So often, divorce is an emotionally challenging time when people should be marking clear boundaries with their ex, and avoiding intimacy with a former spouse.
Attempting to maintain a friendship will likely "lead to more heartache and pain," Pescosolido says. Focus instead on healing heartache from the break, she writes.
Another common mistake: trying to get through divorce alone. People who choose this route are cut off from crucial love and support from family and friends that can help them get past the pain of divorce.
She noted that another common mistake people make is that they try to go it alone on the legal side of divorce, too. She said it's much better to find a good family law attorney who can guide a person through the legal process and avoid mistakes people untrained in law often make.
Also on the list of common mistakes: rushing into a series of big decisions. After a divorce, many people feel liberated from having to share decision-making responsibilities. Unfortunately, they can sometimes feel compelled to make decisions on where to live, where to work, what to drive, etc., without thinking them through.
She urges the newly divorced to slow down and deliberate, especially when it comes to decisions about new romantic interests.
Source: Huffington Post, "5 Common Divorce Mistakes," Allison Pescosolido, April 8, 2013
While that might seem like a fast, easy and cheap way to get a divorce, it's most often a recipe for a disaster that could have lifelong consequences for participants.
]]> Among the many problems with buying divorce forms online and filling them out yourself is the fact that there are 226 chapters in the Texas Family Code. Unless you're willing to read through them and are able to understand the legalese involved, it's likely that you are going to make mistakes in a legal action that is going to have an impact for years, and maybe even the rest of your life.In one case, a person had completed their downloaded forms and was ready to file them with the court when the judge found some problems. The main problem: child custody had not been decided.
Another problem with their forms: the wife had not realized she was entitled to a portion of her husband's benefits.
The judge ordered the couple to hire attorneys. The attorney for the woman caught the neglected benefits, ensuring "she was able to get a portion of that," he said. "Otherwise, she would not have."
A Texas judge told a TV station reporting on online divorces that most couples simply don't understand how to fill out the forms correctly and that the online process works "for very few people."
For help and guidance with crucial divorce matters such as child custody, property division and spousal support, speak with an experienced family law attorney.
Source: KXXV, "Online divorce option increasing," April 8, 2013
A therapist with extensive experience as a grandparent (she's grandparent to 10 kids) says that in a divorce, the grandparents' home can be like a haven safe for the kids from the turmoil of their own home.
]]> The therapist is author of "The Essential Grandparents' Guide to Divorce: Making a Difference in the Family."She says sometimes those kids are caught in an emotional struggle between their parents, which is why it's so important for grandparents to remain neutral and supportive.
While the grandparents will inevitably discuss the divorce with their adult children, with their friends and other family members, they should refrain from making it the exclusive or main topic when their grandchildren are around.
The therapist urges grandparents to discuss the divorce if the grandchild brings it up, but cautions them to remain neutral and positive. Be an attentive listener and "offer your love and empathy," she says.
Take care to stress to the child that the divorce is not their fault.
But try to maintain your pre-divorce relationship with your grandkids as they go through this trying time. Give them that extra scoop of ice cream, allow them to stay up a little past bedtime, and give them the other little indulgences that grandparents love to shower on their grandkids.
It's important for children to feel continuity and support.
It's just as important for the parents going through the divorce to feel those things as well, which is why it's crucial for them to be able to lean on an experienced family law attorney as they navigate the legal and emotional processes.
Source: Huffington Post, "Helping Grandkids Survive Divorce," March 29, 2013
The 12-year-old's father lives in Greece and his mother lives in the United States.
]]> The pre-teen was recently returned to his mom's Indiana home after he spent more than a year with his father in Greece. His dad is accused of kidnapping the boy and holding him against his will.However, the boy said he enjoyed his time with his dad and would like to essentially live in both Indiana and Greece. "Visit there and visit here," he told a reporter.
His custodial mother has a different perspective on matters. "There is no way I'm going to just let him go back," she says.
Within the past two weeks she got the phone call she had been hoping for; the State Department was calling to tell her that Greece had decided to enforce a U.S. court order for her son's return to this country.
Her son had been living in Greece since the summer of 2011, when gone to visit his father. The visit was part of the couple's divorce agreement, and the boy had made four previous trips without problems.
But this time, his dad didn't send him back to Indiana, launching a long-distance custody battle between court systems.
According to an organization cited by the Express-News, there were "more than 4,700 American children abducted" by a parent or guardian outside of the U.S. from 2008 to 2010.
The Indiana mom is happy to have her son back, but she is also pursuing legal claims against her ex-husband.
Anyone who faces difficult child custody disputes should speak with an attorney experienced in helping to resolve matters in the best interests of the child and client.
Source: San Antonio Express-News, "Indiana boy caught in international custody case," March 22, 2013
A Texas courtroom has seen the former football and baseball standout awarded sole custody and conservatorship of the couple's two sons, 13 and 11 years old, and shared custody of their nine-year-old daughter.
]]> Conservators make decisions on the child's residence, schooling and extracurricular activities.Deion and Pilar Sanders will share that decision-making process for their daughter.
Most recently, it was announced that the prenuptial agreement the pair signed before their marriage will stand. Pilar Sanders had claimed parts of the document were forged.
In addition, a Collin County judge ruled that the former Dallas Cowboys cornerback will not have to pay any more child support.
The two have been waging contentious wars of words in the media since Deion announced on Facebook at the end of 2011 his intent to divorce Pilar.
There have been back-and-forth accusations regarding domestic disturbances, child support, child custody and so on since then.
Deion described the divorce as a "war," but said, "I just didn't want my kids to be the casualties."
His attorney claimed to have spoken with jurors in the custody trial; they told him that they had trouble believing Pilar's claims that Deion had abused the couple's children.
After the jury ruled in favor of the football commentator, Pilar said she was "flabbergasted" by their decision, which she said she would appeal.
She dismissed her estranged husband as a "black-face performer."
Anyone facing the possibility of a contentious divorce should speak with an experienced family law attorney with a record of protecting clients' rights and doing what is in the best interests of the children.
Source: CBS Dallas, "Jury Makes Decision In Deion Sanders Child Custody Case," March 12, 2013
The reality TV celebrities said their adopted son is from China.
]]> As fans of the show know, the couple is more than just a pair of TV personalities. Arnold is a neonatologist at Texas Children's Hospital in Houston.She insists that though she's a TV star and a little person, she leads a normal life, albeit one with some physical challenges.
In her work at the hospital, she takes care of critically ill babies, often those born prematurely.
"I love what I do," she told a TV interviewer earlier this year. "I love making a difference in tiny little babies' lives."
As a new mom, she'll obviously be making a big difference in the life of William, her newly adopted son.
"My entire life, even before I met Bill, I always thought, 'Oh, I'd love to adopt a child who is another little person,'" Arnold said in an episode of her TV show.
She and her husband discussed the possibility of adoption after they got married and agreed it was something they wanted to pursue.
Of course, an international adoption can in some cases be challenging, even for TV stars. That's why prospective adoptive parents so often rely on attorneys experienced in taking care of the legal documents required in international adoptions.
In the case of "The Little Couple," fans can watch the pair's adoption process when the new season kicks off next month on TLC.
Source: People, "Dr. Jennifer Arnold and Bill Klein Adopt a Boy with Dwarfism," March 12, 2013
He was being held in the Harris County jail in lieu of $500,000 bail.
]]> The founder of a chain of carpal tunnel clinics lost his medical license back in 2006 after testing positive for cocaine.He's had a string of headline-grabbing incidents since then, including his arrest for felony assault on his wife (he was later acquitted of the charge), being sued by a woman for allegedly giving her herpes, and this past January, being arrested for allegedly assaulting a flight attendant.
The former hand surgeon also sued his ex-wife, claiming she devalued his carpal tunnel clinic business.
According to a Houston Chronicle article on the former surgeon, he was arrested on a British Airways plane the day after New Year's on a flight from London to Miami, Florida.
He reportedly went to the front section of the plane to demand his meal and wine. A flight attendant then took him back to his seat. When a different attendant approached him, he allegedly grabbed her arm, pulled her toward him and began making sexual comments before letting her go.
Later, when the flight attendant attempted to serve him his meal, he reportedly grabbed her around the neck and squeezed, asking her if she is a strong woman.
Clearly, some people involved in divorces and ongoing child custody and child support disputes are more difficult to deal with than others, which is what makes the assistance of an experienced attorney so crucial in these matters.
Source: Houston Chronicle, "Hand surgeon in jail on child support case," March 4, 2013
This is the time for him to pause, swallow hard and answer truthfully, a group of family law attorneys say. When someone is filling out a dating questionnaire and is thinking of divorcing, or is in the process of divorcing, or is in the midst of a child custody dispute, they should be scrupulously honest, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) insists.
]]> Why is a little fib about marital status or parental status so dangerous? Because the lies someone tells online are public information that can be used against that person in divorce and custody proceedings.According to a recent AAML survey, those lies are increasingly being used against people in those proceedings, too. Fifty-nine percent of responding AAML members said they've seen a rise in cases citing evidence found on dating websites.
If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Let's go back to our hypothetical situation with the San Antonio man. Let's say he's a still-married father of two young children and let's say he claimed he's single and has no kids.
While his odds of getting a date might be greater by being less than forthcoming, his odds of being granted child custody will undoubtedly decrease if a judge is informed that the dad denied he's a father.
"Dating website users can often face temptation to embellish some personal information on profiles, but this lack of honesty could prove costly for someone in the middle of a divorce or child custody case," the president of the AAML said.
If you're going to use a dating site, or use Facebook, Twitter or other social media, talk over your online presence with a family law attorney in the course of your discussions about what you want from your divorce.
Source: American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, "Dating Websites Providing More Divorce Evidence Says Survey: Nation's Top Matrimonial Lawyers Cite Match.com as Most Common Source," Feb. 11, 2013